Why You Shouldn’t Have Kids Before Marriage (or Is It Worth It?)

you cannot tell him that babe I want to buy a bone straight you know don't sleep with somebody that you not ready to have a child with it doesn't want it it was the absolute ghetto trust me I knew for a fact that I wanted to keep the baby like nobody needed to tell me anything I feel so ashamed that I started a business I spent a lot of [Music] money hey guys what is up welcome back to the channel if you're new here my name is adish shami my friend call me spend money okay period do uncaps or whatever princess said in real house anyways welcome back to the channel today I want us to talk about having a child before marriage because that was what happened to me and you know that this is one topic that I've always wanted to talk about but I've not had the opportunity to do that but I was having a conversation with someone recently and she was like she would rather die than having a child before marriage and I was like okay should I die should I ug the Transformer should I commit suicide should I do all of those things because for me it's having a child is not the end of the world there are people out there that are praying to God to have a child and they would pray to God to just have the child with anybody and and just to be good just to have a child do you get so I see children as blessings from God and I don't see a reason why someone would say she would rather die than have children out of marriage it wasn't like I planned to like get pregnant and you know have a child before marriage in fact I'm one of those people that would tell you okay like I had this perfect like not like I had like a perfect wedding or like a dream wedding in mind but I've always been the person that oh I want to have like a cute proposal I want my guy to kneel down propos to me then we're going to do the introduction then we're going to do this and then the marriage is going to be boom and everything is just going to be perfect while that is all cute not everybody's going to have that in fact you realize that you have more pring issues than doing all of those things don't get me wrong in my next life I would still want to have like the cute proposal have like the introduction then have like the marriage before having a child because everything eventually happened right but it was after getting pregnant which I mean it's not going to work for everybody but what I'm trying to say is that we are all not going to have the same situations we are not all going to live our life the same way and what is going to happen to me is obviously going to be different from what is going to happen to my sister my sister probably doesn't even have a boyfriend my sister probably wants to like get married tomorrow my sister probably already have somebody that is going to propose to our Jed but we are all going to live our life differently and separately so having a child in fact I feel like the minute you get pregnant you're going to start thinking of how to even get better for yourself and for your child because for me the minute I got pregnant it wasn't just about me again when I found out I got pregnant I wanted the baby because I was saying someone that I know that is very responsible and someone that I actually would like to have a baby with haveed people and you know you just feel like okay no I don't want to have a child with this person I know we've all been there and I'm usually a fan of don't sleep with people you are not ready to have a child with ask my friend this is not me coming on YouTube to come and front what I'm not I would tell my friends don't sleep with somebody you are not ready to have a childhood so that has always always always been my you know my Mantra and it wasn't the case of me not even dating other people but I knew where not to cross do you get that has always been me because I'm like I've always been this okay I'm not going to get an abortion whenever I get pregnant I'm definitely going to have it so when I when I found out I was pregnant I can't forget April 20th I was on a video call with my friend Baraka shout out to you I was telling her about how I missed my period blah blah blah I went to buy P test trip that day and I found out I mean maybe those two lines the minute you see on that pregnancy STP the minute you don't see that first line in the middle and it just goes up a little bit my yeah no that's not it the minute that first line in the middle pops up you know if it's negative like kind of like goes a little bit higher and then you just see one line one line but the minute it kind of like stops at the middle just that it don't happen you don't so when I saw it I was like I cried at first because I just moved to the island I wanted to start my life yeah I wanted to start my life like okay I've always been like a school person I thought okay I was going to do my MS do my PhD have like a cute husband and then I'll be good but when I found out how much lecturers were getting I totally totally changed my mind from even doing my PhD in Nigeria because or even at all because I was like so what's the point of going through all of this stress reading reading reading only for me to finish and then you pay me money that cannot even buy you a wig best believe me those people are not getting money like if you dating a lecturer here in Nigeria you cannot tell him that babe I want to buy a bone straight you know go you know you know because they are not paying those people well so I just gave up on the whole lecturing academic career of mine that I've always had and I was like okay let me pursue content creation I tried having a business Pence cosmetics and it went from like 100 to zero which my husband is still telling me that okay don't worry you can kind of like when everything is settled you can get back to the business but for me I I don't even know if I want to because I feel so ashamed that I started a business I spent a lot lot of money and you know it just went down the drain lesson learn lesson learned of course but I mean I'm so so so so ashamed to kind of like start again and all of those things especially in that business F I know some people that are like I've been in this content creation game since 20 2015 so I know people and I'm so glad I'm so happy to see that content creation is what it is right now there are some girls that I see now and I'm like I knew these people when they were on the street of Instagram posting every day you know doing makeup tricks makeup acts all of those I see them and I'm like girl I'm proud of you that you were able to like you know all strong and all tight and you know being where they are now and doing really well making money really really really makes me happy right so when I finished from Ms I was like okay I'm going to go back to to do content creation I'm going to kind of like start my career so I started like 2020 fully back I had my own Studio I have my studio here I've always been a Pro Studio I just want to walk in here know