I’m afraid of being rejected

in order to grow you have to make mistakes it just felt so amazing and like why didn't i do this before nervous well things do go wrong i'm less afraid of being rejected i am more afraid of not taking actions there are so many things that i'm afraid of i'm afraid of reaching out to people i'm afraid of hosting parties because i always think no one is going to show up i'm afraid to make spontaneous decisions because i think about you know my family judging me about them and in this vlog i'm gonna go through a process through my mind process that i worked on with my therapist and i'm gonna show you what's going on because i'm finally throwing a party first time in my life and i'm doing some spontaneous travel really soon i'm gonna tell you everything continue watching so story about the party three years ago i had this idea of hosting a creator event here in the bay area and having like a meet up for all of the creators here so i hosted one but it turned out that there were like five creators in the bay area not a lot of people were fond of blogging back then but now with the whole creator economy movement on the rise there are so many people suddenly interested in creator economy and one of the guys from google he organized this meetup he invited me to san francisco and that was a couple months ago i was like i wanted to do this for my whole life and now like other people are doing it and i offer to host the next party this is so me sometimes i have these amazing ideas and i'm like but i'm too afraid to invite people to come over to my place because they wouldn't come because they don't care etc but then i realized if they don't come to this party like this is what my husband told me marina you care too much about what people think of you right now but you need to think about this from another perspective like if you see a person and you want to to build a relationship with them you ask for something you offer them to come to your party and they don't come why do you think you will be able to build a relationship with them in the future like what's going to change in the future because sometimes i think why would i reach out to that person right now maybe in two years i'm a better entrepreneur i have more followers and they would um communicate with me better and so for this party i actually invited some people that i look up to and they declined i'm actually fine with that because i have a lot of other people coming and they are as amazing as those who declined and actually i feel good so this is i'm going to tell a little more but this is the venue it's still in progress this might look a little weird so this is where we're going to be sitting i've ordered five of these i only have one there are three days left before the party so i'm just hoping this is gonna arrive the idea is gonna be a three hour party uh for people who are interested in creator economy so we're gonna start with a speech we're going to talk about the creator economy we're also going to have spots where people are going to interact and i actually hired a chef who's going to cook for us i hired a waiter so you see i'm really investing in this party and this is the way for me to fight my fears i'm gonna tell you what my therapist told me a couple days ago and i think it's gonna be super useful so she told me marina you're on one mountain you're on this peak and there's another mountain and there's another peak right here it's 2x higher imagine that the only way for you to get from one mountain to another is to climb a letter but every step of a letter has to be a mistake that you made it just helped me so much to realize that in order to grow you have to make mistakes because if you just sit and do nothing you don't learn so this is going to be my first party i'm pretty sure we're going to make some mistakes and just some stats i invited 38 people only 24 are gonna come and again i'm fine with that even if 15 people come i'm fine with that just because i understand that i'm giving it a try if it's a mistake then well the next party i'm going to invite 50 people so that i have at least 20 show up and it just feels so good and another thing that really really helped me shifting focus and telling you another story another story last saturday uh we went to bed with my husband and sometimes we have this mood when we start chatting so we started chatting about things and he's like we were talking about some entrepreneurs that we look up to how spontaneous they are and i told him like what we lack both of us is that we we can't take risks we're too afraid we don't want to do something because we're afraid of being rejected and he's like let's change it completely let's make a decision and let's be spontaneous and he asked me what i wanted the most right now and i told him i wanted to go to moscow to see my friends and maybe like host an event for my students he's like okay let's do it i'm like are you serious we have a two-month-old we have a two-year-old baby he's like yeah let's be spontaneous it just felt so amazing and like why didn't i do this before and we booked our flights and we're going to russia in a week which is like super spontaneous especially there's six of us traveling our parents are also going uh back home to russia so it's gonna be amazing but something that i also learned after doing this when you shift your focus like i was super worried about this party and i was like oh is it going to be good is it going to be bad but now i have my focus shifted to the trip so i'm actually thinking about the day when we're leaving what i'm going to put in the back i'm gonna host the event for my students and i realize i'm no longer that obsessed with a party being perfect i just think of it okay we're gonna have some amazing time this is a party yes i should take care of some details but i'm no longer worried so when you shift your focus from your problem to something else it really really helps to feel at ease [Music] oh it's so dirty i didn't realize i don't need to spend more time cleaning good thing i have a friend coming over to stay with us for three days so we'll have some fun time prepping for the party [Music] footy prep progress in full swing dima is a networking guru he's working on the cards that we're gonna give to people so they could meet each other so we're gonna have two rounds right yeah he has the whole process here written down so who meets who we're gonna have two rounds oops when people are going to meet each other yeah the party starts in an hour and a half now also going to show you something else the kids are going to go to the playground for three hours beautiful that's my favorite that's napoleon something else so this i need to clean it here um oh magic vacuum it's just cleaning everything by itself the best here i decorated the bathroom uh i just wanted to do like all the fancy offices like mouthwash sunscreen so it doesn't look too fancy i mean i i realize our house is