I blew up… now what? Getting myself out of a slump these days.

that you will notice that my energy today is not very good and I was actually going to film two more educational videos today but I've kind of been in a slump like the past three days for several reasons it just didn't feel right for me to film those two educational videos and usually like I like having good energy in my videos but I don't know I feel like I mean I could do it if I really wanted to but it would just not feel right so when I woke up today I was like kind of feeling stressed about filming and everything and so what I thought I would do instead is make a video just sharing how I feel about everything and everything that has been going on in my life if you follow me on Instagram you will have seen that I am kind of all over the place I'm very tired and I'm struggling a bit with my Niche after my YouTube big three months ago so three months ago I had four thousand subscribers which took me two months to get to and then within the past three months I went from four thousand subscribers to now 27 000 subscribers so this period of growth has been really fast and it's because my Etsy videos blew up and so now I kind of feel like I don't want to be an Etsy Channel I want to be more of a channel where people feel inspired to go after whatever they want to do in the career or in business and also to help people build more confidence to do what they want to do and I feel like I might not continue with Etsy like maybe in a year or two maybe I don't want to make Etsy my main things so that's why I don't want to just post Etsy videos even though right now all my videos that do really well and the videos that are making the most money are my Etsy videos so I know a lot of you like following me for my journey and so I want to share why I feel not that great and why I feel like I'm kind of in a slump right now I think a big thing is I have been traveling for two months I've been trying to work and travel like be a digital Nomad so it's actually been really hard to balance everything because I want to do everything and I want to be productive and I want to go out and I want to explore and meet new people so I think it's finally catching up to me like I actually feel tired every single day even if I get like seven or eight hours of sleep and the other thing which I mentioned is I feel kind of lost in my Niche my Niche has always been a problem because I feel like I have a lot of things that I'm interested and a lot of things that I want to talk about on this channel so I never was able to figure out what exactly I wanted to do with this channel like I have a lot of videos about starting a business a creative business my business Journey personal development I have some random things like pet sitting and men's cups and now that my YouTube has gotten bigger because of my Etsy videos I think it's I'm still thinking about what exactly is my vision for this YouTube channel like I obviously am going to continue with my Etsy Journey like right now I'm I like working on the Etsy I love the idea of starting at Etsy Channel starting at Etsy business Etsy Channel Etsy business to make passive income and I like designing stuff so I'm going to continue with it for now but also I don't want to be an Etsy Channel I want to do I want to talk about other things like maybe like things like this like I would I love those channels that I where I feel like the other person is just a really good friend or an older sister and they're just talking and I feel like we're just hanging out so I want to have that kind of a channel Vibe as well yeah I would love to make videos where I don't have to think about oh I need to please the algorithm and make the thumbnail really good and make the title really good for YouTube search and get all the keywords in the description and everything I would love to just talk like this sometimes and share what's going on and I'm trying to find a balance between making these kinds of videos that I want to make and the videos that are more polished and educational and like for the YouTube algorithm to like grow my channel so my conclusion so far has been I will do half half so half like Etsy videos and businessy videos and then half videos that I personally want to make and maybe I'm just I'm not making the video because it's going to perform well so another thing is I just feel like I have so much to do like while I've been traveling the last two months I feel like I have only been able to do the minimum amount of work and I'm like so not productive compared to when I was back home in Vancouver ideally I should be able to post one long form YouTube video four YouTube shorts post on Instagram and post three listings on Etsy every week but in the last two months I've only been able to do one YouTube video a week maybe like some shorts here and there but definitely not four shorts and for two months I didn't post an Etsy listing and I'm just starting to post more right now like I'm aiming to do one to three new Etsy listings per week and so far it's been like one per week so yeah it's been really hard to work and it's been because I'm tired I'm hanging out with people all the time I'm socializing a lot more and I'm not just socializing with friends that I've known for a long time and that I'm comfortable with I'm meeting a lot of new people and I'm an introvert I don't know if you can tell and I really need to recharge so I think maybe the last two months I haven't been able to recharge fully and so my battery is like getting drained and drained and drained and now I'm like always fatigued and so another thing is I feel bad that I feel bad you get that especially because the last two months I keep on saying oh my gosh I'm so happy because I'm finally living my dream I'm finally making passive income and traveling and this has been my dream for eight years so I feel like I have this pressure to be happy and for things to go well and yeah I'm like supposed to be living my dream so because I feel like I should be happier and so even when I feel a little bit bad I just feel guilty that how can you be living your dream but then feeling this bad like people would love to be in your position right now the past you would have loved to be here how can you be complaining about being tired and not being able to work well like this is your dream so I think that adds another element to it I just feel bad that I feel bad which I don't think is good at all okay also I'm like an Enneagram seven which is the Enthusiast which is the person whose goal my goal is to be happy and satisfied in life but I think I'm learning to recognize that it's okay to feel bad it's okay to feel negative it's just a part of life and I don't always have to be be happy all the time and it's really what I do with the negative that is important like I can feel negative but it's how I respond to this I think that is what's really important so right now as I'm in Islam and I told you all the reasons why I'm feelin